Im fucking sick of my life!

im sick of comparing myself to them

I can't blame myself if im born ugly..this is who I am? cant they accept it? yeah..my sisters are kinda pretty compared to me..my lola thinks im not a real daughter from my mom..its really painful to me since its not true..my lola keep on admiring my 2 sisters for being pretty and sexy and everything..hearing all of it is just so irritating..i felt pity on myself for being so NOT..i just dont wanna hear bout that coz it loses my self esteem..but they juz dont know it..i cant tell this insecurity from anyone else except my friend Ruth..she's the only one i can tell about..i dunno how long am i going to take this pain..im just so envy and jealous..everything i do is not good for them..maybe im just a person full of weaknesses,,what a stupid feeling..